what's her takeaway this year?

Our youngest -- a precocious, charming, witty, little girl with a head of tight curls -- turned seven recently.  She's now in first grade and since school opened, has attended a 7th birthday party almost every weekend.  All of these celebrations were theme parties, meant to thrill today's seven year old grown-ups (Fancy Nancy's) with booths for face painting, salons for funky hairstyles, red carpet-style photos, glam accessories, and little girl games.  Those are apart from chef-designed girly-girl party food and loot bags.

These milestone celebrations have fanned the party and event business frenzy like anything, with themes, concepts, gimmicks, and party favors that would make any kid go crazy about turning a year older. Yet some parents just don't stop there.
I've seen:

1. little girls glammed up by today's hottest designers and stylists
2. boys presented with the most exciting "mini me" versions of work-like-real presents, before they turn ten!
3. two, sometimes three, buffet spreads, mostly specially done by gourmets or famous chefs.  One for the kids, the other for the parents, and of course, the yayas (nannies)
4. audio-visual presentations that rival those presented at one's sweet sixteen, debut, wedding, or even golden birthday celebration.  
5. magicians, clowns, mascots, costumed party hosts, and paparazzi!

These parties are fun to attend, but it gets challenging for parents.  How?

• The themes always specify coming in a costume or particular get-up.  If the invitation is given a only a week ahead, you have to come up with a costume for your kid(s) in a snap.  Or a thousand-peso bill ( or more, eep!)
• There's so much going on in one place packed with so many parents and children, you get exhausted after
• An overload of sugar during the party and even more in the loot bags.  Don't let me get started on the overload of little giveaway items and game prizes 
• Since parents are more often invited as well, you'll have to give up part of your weekend to sit through one such party
• You'll have to be creative or rich to be able to hand over a present to a celebrant who is given such a huge party 

I might sound like I'm just green with envy or even bitter, but really, apart from the chocolates, candies, and experience of glam, magic, wonder, and revelry, what is the takeaway for my daughter each weekend?

• Seven is a special age. You reach seven, you celebrate big time!
• Their parents love them that much.  Your parents? Hmmm.
• They're rich, right?
• This is what a real party is.
• If this is how you celebrate your 7th birthday, how do you celebrate the 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, and so on (while still your parents' dependent)?!

I spent some time thinking of how I could justify not giving her that kind of celebration, and decided to:

• Tell her that how we love her is not how other parents show their kids love.
• Plant the idea that we can just spend the same amount of money for stuff and places she really wants for herself.
• Donate the money we would spend to an orphanage (but, see, I believe that should be voluntary and come later in life, like the dreaded teen parties).
• Convince her to save all the celebrating for the birthday parties:  sweet 16, her debut, turning legal...
• Shrug, nonchalantly and snobbishly (it has an appeal for some) declare that parties are not our style.

And so, I thought really hard for a creative way to mark her 7th year without resorting to instant noodles for the rest of the family till the next paycheck.  I posed a challenge to my friends on Facebook, my followers on twitter, and my friends who are my regular "text" mates.  Here are the top responses:

1. a day at the spa, complete with mani-pedi with the mom
2. a drive out of town with the family
3. an entire day at the amusement park with the family
4. a party, of course
5. shopping and a makeover at a girly-girl boutique du jour -- Club Princess!

Some, I ticked-off because she had already had doses of those, and some were just not logistically possible, so I ended up treating her to a variety of mini-celebrations spread over a two-week period.  And you know what?  She's not walking away feeling cheated or less of a 7 year-old because she didn't have that grand celebration.  She's still attending parties every weekend, and I do see a shadow quickly cross her face once in a while when she sees the fuss over a celebrant, but I know, even at her age, she realizes she's alright. Besides, I'm not pretending I don't notice how, in a way, she put one over us parents who are trying to compensate.  She is still getting a few treats to date --  a month after her real birthday. 

I guess I have to start planning for those big birthday celebrations, keeping in mind to create memories, confirm values, and show real love and joy.