I semi-ditched the notebook/planner once

For nearly a decade, I carried this leather planner every. Where. I. Went.  Nearly!  It was an upgrade from the student planner I used in preparation for "greater things to come". Since it was a bulky, multi-compartmentalized, tabbed three-ring binder in heavy two-toned leather (the better to go with every purse or outfit *wink*), I couldn't always put it in my purse.  So, wherever I went -- shopping, to work, riding the bus, the supermarket, carrying a tray in a fastfood restaurant, ordering and taking my coffee to-go -- it would be hand-held, tucked between my upper arm and my torso, or hugged close to my chest.  Needless to say, lugging the planner limited the range of movements of one arm.  But I always thought I would die without it, so I didn't mind.

PR at home

I am a communicator of messages by profession, but I have never felt as challenged in sending a message as I am with my kids.  Are my objectives measurable, realistic, and specific? Do I have my key messages right? Am I using the right medium?  Are they listening?  Because if they are, after all, then they sure are doing a very good job of looking as though nothing I say can help.

Five top reasons communications is not quite an area of specialty at home:

To save or not to save

So many people lost their loved ones, their homes, their cars, and their other prized possesions during the recent floods brought about by Tropical Storm Ketsana, referred to locally -- and already used as an adjective and verb -- as Ondoy. Rich or poor, everyone in the metro was affected, either directly or through loved ones, friends, and/or workmate.

Surveying the damage and the losses right after the worst of the flood was the most painful... or so one might think. It has actually been a series of pain and torture. My home was spared, but I had so much stuff at my parents' house, I had even just a fraction of an idea of what they felt. First, devastation, then helplessness, then the overwhelmed sense you get when you are faced with a to-do list so long and a time table so tight. Then you learn to let go, take a deep breath, then begin the process of cleaning up and rebuilding. All throughout picking up a lesson or two.

One thing Typhoon Ketsana has taught me is that when faced with a few minutes before disaster strikes, what can I save?

my sniffle remedies

Driving home after our New Year's Eve celebration at my parents' was like going through some horror movie scene. Near-zero visibility. The way the street lights shone through the dense smog was really eerie. I hope this is the peak of the season's allergy triggers, because I'm getting tired of my allergies.

Itchy, teary eyes, congested sinuses, incessant sneezing, sniffing, headaches. I've had them since childhood, you'd think I'd be used to them by now. I first realized it wasn't normal when a classmate in Grade School once asked why my cousin and I had a cold every morning. Those pesky allergies... we react to what -- morning? To absolutely anything from dust to perfume, fresh paint, varnish, something about rain about to fall, mold, and the 'ber months. Many times they lead to an actual head cold, fever, and cough.

I used to take good old antihistamines but decided I don't want to live an anti-histamined life, so I've learned to rely on these top 5:

surviving the pre-Holiday rush

I have never been adept at thriving in a stressful environment. I used to break down at some point, so I've developed survival techniques that have been handy since my pre-teen years, when I was already given serious responsibilities at home. They don't include my last-resorts like smoking or going somewhere private to scream, but they have been helpful, thank God, especially during the pre-Holiday hustle and bustle.

Hey, c'mon, it's Christmas, guys!

It's officially nine days to go before Christmas. It should start to get merrier. I just missed the first Christmas party lined up this year and I really wanted to attend it. Why the heck does it all have to get bad?!

In my own little tribe in my little circle, these are the top 5 dramas that upstage the joys of Christmas:

The juggler fumbles

It has been an exhausting seven days. I have been through a roller-coaster of emotions and, as much as I attempted to stay positive, I buckled down a couple of times.

All throughout, I yearned for some quiet time, and I did finally get some at night, but there was just so much in my mind, it was hardly quiet up there!

So just to clear my mind and lighten the load on my chest, I am giving myself the benefit of these random top 5's in my mind at the moment:

Short of being 007

There's this new TV ad for a sound system where Daniel Craig's James Bond is standing, cool as usual, and he'd have a gun shot, an explosion, and falling debris, if I remember right, coming at him from all sides. After glancing at where he got hit, checking out the explosion behind him, pausing a bit to regain his balance, he would just keep standing there with this determined and pointed sexy but powerful glare and 007-poise, battered and all.



He reminds me of the Energizer bunny that just keeps going on and on and on. When it does stop, it's just to pause for a change of batteries, then on it goes again.

I wish I could be James Bond and the Energizer Bunny. But there are days when I believe with all my heart that it's all nice and admirable, but not happening in real life. Then I wake up and it's another day, and I have no choice but to go on again.

lists that make you go, "hmmmm"

I failed to credit life coach Martha Beck for some of the most interesting lists I've made. These are the ones in her book, "Finding Your Own North Star".

In this book, she used the list as tools to make the reader realize some truths which were possibly hidden or buried, consciously or otherwise, and to make some sense of the life's riddles. The book, and especially the lists, greatly helped me unearth information I either refused to acknowledge or just deliberately shoved into the back of my consciousness. It was not as easy as I anticipated to complete the lists in order to get to the results I sought. But there were benefits, and though they may not have included finding my own North Star, I did succeed in getting over some painful memories and rediscovering highs of my life.

I'm sure Martha has a valid and expert reason for the order and context in which these lists came, her aim being "helping you claim the life you were meant to live" -- making your essential self rule over your social (accepted, dictated, or pre-set you) self. I believe, though, that some of these could independently be helpful, even without needing to go through the entire North Star program. Here are my top five:

my mind trips

Circumstances give me very little opportunity to leave the space my shoe-loving feet have carved out in this minuscule place in the world where I live.

Around the city, to and from nearby beaches and vacation spots, in and out of the kids' school, shopping places, coffee places, the gym. Really, the radius my steps have been confined to, when you compare it to the frequent fliers or missionaries of this world, may seem almost insignificant. The path is worn, yet there's always more to see, so I'm not complaining. And just like a worn-out sweater, rug, blanket, or pillow it can get comfortable and safe.

There are days, though, when restlessness creeps in and my regular places aren't an option. The bathroom, which offers solace most times, loses its appeal. Even shopping becomes a chore. Then I become creative. I go tripping... in my mind.

channeling Dear Abby

"...I can't control nobody but me. So if you care, let them work it out..."

Comforting words in this Sergio Mendes song. I wish I could just let things and people be...

Is it meddling? Is it trying to run their lives? Is it attempting to delay if not completely change the course of the inevitable? People come to you and share a dilemma, a run-in or argument with someone, something that's been bugging them -- what do you do?

My five minutes in the bathroom

I was once assigned to write about moments of solitude, and the good they do to a person. Researching for the writeup yielded pages upon pages of wise, enlightening and beneficial information on the topic. I had quotes from Jesus, philosophers, historical figures, Nobel Prize winning authors, self-help gurus, a children's book character, and even Stevie Wonder.

His song, Superwoman, gave me the starting point for the writeup. I didn't use it in the context of the entire song, but some lines definitely hit me:

"Mary wants to be superwoman
But is that really in her head
But I just want to live each day to
love herfor what she
is...

"My woman want to be a superwoman
And I just had to say good-bye
Because I can't spend all my hours
start to cry."

The man went on and on lamenting about his woman, and needless to say, the end didn't seem very bright for the two.

In another story, this time from the Bible, Jesus chides busy-bee Martha, who, unlike her sister Mary who chose to sit by His feet to listen and just be with Him, went about stressing, just so their house would be just so, and the meal will be prepared right, etc., etc., etc. When she complained about how her sister wasn't helping, he replied, "Martha, Martha..."

I hear that chiding when I am spinning around trying to accomplish everything I set myself to do. In the end, I wonder how I get so exhausted when nothing much seems to have been done.

I thank God for little moments of solitude, which, on bad days, can really literally be the five minutes in the bathroom Mrs. Large, the mother Elephant in the children's book "Five Minutes' Peace", implored her children to give her. They pounded on the other side of the door with all sorts of excuses to get her to open the door.


Many times, the pending stuff can wait, even the text messages, Emails, piles of dishes, a full clothes hamper, even when it drives me out of my mind -- the O.C. place in my mind, that is. This pause is for good cause, too. A break doesn't have to be in a spa, a salon, a spiritual retreat. Just some time to be alone, and hear what my mind, heart, and body are saying. Five minutes of solitude can be powerful that way. After that, I'm ready for the next round.