Top of my lists

Along my journey of becoming who I am today -- not who I always thought I would be --, I dropped some good habits, acquired some bad habits, lost sight of the key result areas in my life, consequently neglecting to give priority to those which need attention and action from me the most.

What happened? How'd it happen? Was it in one single sweep, or did it slowly creep into my system?

I'd like to think I was organized, a bit impulsive but I had a strong head on my shoulders. A bit conceited but humble enough to acknowlege my mistakes and learn from them.

Now, just when I am supposed to be mature, at the ripe old decade when life "begins", I am generally just going with the flow, allowing myself to be swept this way and that way by life's daily dish for me, sometimes laughing the day off, sometimes, grumbling, but mostly just going, "wha...?" More appropriately, actually, I go, "what the...?!" Then on to the next day.

Is that being resilient? I don't think so. More like apathetic. Probably helpless. Or even resigned. *sigh* --- Ooops, there you go.

So today I make a decision. *enter theme from Rocky* -- I will grasp life by its flowing skirt, ride with it, but yank if I need to slow down or pause a bit. I will manually re-activate my five senses and appreciate what is happening and join in. I shall start by replacing the future tense- verbs in this paragraph. Grasping, check. Riding, check. Yanking, check. Reactivating, m-hmmm. Replaced, yes, go!



It feels silly, and makes me feel giddy all over. But it's a fabulous feeling of release. *hah!*

How do I do all this? By getting back the habit of making lists. --- actually, I used to draw a mind map, and branch out my list from it, but let's not complicate things. Every now and then, I will write down the top of my lists. I love lists. Lists helped me a lot from my childhood onward. I came out of being "little miss scatterbrain" to "little miss organized" and even "little miss OC". But at least I knew where everything was, what I needed to do, what I was short of, what I had lots of, etc., etc., etc.




Then I loved lists more after reading Nick Hornby's "High Fidelity"; even more so after watching John Cusack in the Hollywood-ized version.






So lists it is. I begin with reasons I should make lists:

1. to realize how blessed I am
2. to appreciate why I exist
3. to remember what I need to do
4. to prioritize what I want to do
5. to be grateful.
   

My hope is to:

1. get some semblance of order in my life
2. be happy
3. love more
4. give more
5. write more!

Simple, huh? Let's see.