Tomorrow, I meet with a very difficult client. "The" difficult client where I work. I don't have to see or meet said client (let's call her "C") on a regular basis, thank God. But those who do, they cower at the very thought of the regular meetings with C. These unfortunate ones have different ways of dealing with C and the variety of symptoms they acquired from frequent exposure to C, and these range from breaking out in hives, difficulty breathing, stomach disorders, sudden new twitches, and even hysteria! Imagined or not, they suffer from it, right about 24 hours before and another 24 after the meetings. Naturally, they put all the blame on the said client.
No one was spared, apparently, because even our own resident temperamental and stern b*tc*y top gun got the treatment and suffered for it. She has taken the most hits, I believe, judging from her 'symptoms' that come once a week, on the dot. Hard to believe, but she has reached a point of addiction to these hits and seems to crave for them. And her curious love-hate for C lingers.
Before meeting C for the first time, I had heard references to his/her person grounded on psychology and social behavior. These include bi-polar, neurotic, psychotic (yes, believe me), manic, schizo, no life outside of work, snooty, crass, loud, unethical, hag, and the not-so-seldomly used b*tc*. You can tell, as I was able to, that this is one type you didn't want to meet, much less cross. Me? I stayed off C's radar. Till the time we were doomed to meet. With a mixture of apprehension and intrigue, I actually looked forward to getting over the fierce dragon, myth or not.
Guess what I found out? C's not so scary after all. I discovered C's one of those you can work around and actually have a good time with. At least enough to recognize and acknowledge that C is knowlegeable, effective and efficient with the job and actually earned the position. Sure I hate it when C's feathers get all ruffled and C's pencilled eyebrows raise to a height that makes my instincts yell, "run for cover"! C can seem to be highly-strung and on the verge of exploding at times. But on the whole, C blows smoke, not fire.
How did I work around this difficult person so that C now specifically asks to work with me? The way I do with all difficult people:
- Going beyond the fear and understanding the person behind the monster. In this case, what got C's ire? Why did C shout? What is it that ticks C off?
- Remembering what ticks C off. Strive for that which makes C happy.
- Facing C fair and square. Be honest. Don't just cower and say yes to any demand. State what's workable and what's ridiculous. People like C will push and bully you, but they know their limit, so make them aware of that limit.
- Anticipating. Don't get caught empty-handed, unprepared, unaware, and unprotected. Don't, on the other hand, over-anticipate and begin to fall even before C attempts to strike.
- Transcending. Stand your ground when you need to. This does not mean, though, that you will over-react and counter-strike or turn into the very monster C is. Be the kinder, calmer, smarter one. Do not shout back if that's Cs very style.
I don't fool myself. I know that every now and then the bully will show its ugly head. But I discovered that people like C know the extent of their power and will only bully those who allow themselves to be bullied. And so, I will deal with C tomorrow. I will take deep breaths, prepare and arm myself, have less coffee than usual, and move on.
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